Waking Up to Systemic Racism
I’ve often heard 2020 described as “unprecedented.” The “novel” coronavirus. The “record-breaking” rates of unemployment. A “surge” of the civil rights movement. People are waking up to a number of problems. But the truth is, most of these problems have always existed. They don’t exist in a vacuum, but a system built on oppression and inequity.
In light of the brutal murders of George Floyd, Brionna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and so many others - I know many of us are realizing the harsh realities of systemic racism for Black people in this country. The fact that Black Lives Matter is viewed as a political issue (rather than a moral one), is a clear example of how Black people are dehumanized. I’m not an expert on this subject, and I know I never will be. I will never know what it’s like to be Black in this country, and I am approaching this topic with humility. I’m learning and unlearning every day. I’m going to attempt to be candid about my education in racial equity, my unlearning of anti-blackness, and my personal experiences in a white dominant society.
This work is personal, and requires personal dedication and commitment. This has been said over and over again, but it’s not enough to not be racist. It’s not enough to be anti-racist when convenient, or to participate in random acts of ally-ship. Anti-racism requires sacrifice, and constant due diligence. What does it mean to make sacrifices for anti-racism? For this answer, we’ll need to unpack systemic racism.
What is a system? A system is made up of interrelated parts, and a system is not simply the sum of it’s parts, but the product of their interaction. Here’s a moment for self reflection: what systems are we a part of? What kind of systems exist inside of us? If we don’t see ourselves as part of the system, we are not going to be able to shift it. It’s important to note that systems take a lot of work to build, but once built they are often impervious (but not immune) to change. Systems are comfortable, whether we realize it or not. We all operate in a white dominant culture, and we are all part of systems that reinforce white dominance in some way or another. In some ways, our systems are familiar, which is what makes them comfortable. Discomfort occurs in disruption.
To be anti-racist, we need to sacrifice our comfort. This culture won’t be disrupted by one diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) training or the posting of a black tile on social media (I know, I posted one too). Anti-racism requires persistence, not performance.
This is where I struggle. I want to be relentless in my pursuit of racial equity and justice. I can’t think of anything else. The more I learn, the more angry I get. The more angry I get, the more tired I am. I frequently hit points of exhaustion, and become convinced that I’ll never be able to disrupt the system and make an impact. The final stages of my spiral end in guilt and shame. I feel guilty for not being able to do more, and then I feel shame for making it about myself. This is larger than me and my feelings. And yet, my feelings and I determine my actions. Was this system built to burn out people trying to dismantle it? It feels that way. I’m thinking out loud here. Where are all of the other people who are struggling and making mistakes? How are you learning from those mistakes?
Here’s what I know - I need to focus. I’m choosing to center race in all of my actions, because Black Lives Matter. Black lives have to matter, and I plan to start by disrupting the cultural and institutional values that tell us that they don’t matter enough.
Here are some actions I’m taking in my day-to-day:
Learning, and learning constantly: I’m choosing to read books by Black authors - because only Black people can be experts on the Black experience in this country. I’m currently reading “The Skin that We Speak” and “Hood Feminism.”
Supporting the Black Lives Matter Movement: I’m advocating for defunding the police, signing every petition, sending letters, and making donations to organizations led by Black, Indigenous, Latino, and other underrepresented racial identities in this country. Consider making a donation to the Equal Justice Initiative.
Challenging White Dominant Culture in the workplace: I’ve been speaking up more than ever, and sharing resources to identify white dominant culture, and challenge it. This resource is one of the best.
Challenging White Dominant behavior in my personal relationships: I’m having a lot of hard conversations, and listening when I’m given feedback and offering feedback when I see examples of white dominance show up in my relationships.
I know that we’re all at different parts of our anti-racist journey, and this is what’s working for me right now. There isn’t a right way to disrupt systemic racism - there isn’t a perfect way either. The only way to really fail, is by not trying at all.
