My Writing Process

I’m here to answer the question that no one has asked: what exactly is my writing process?

First, I let myself become completely oppressed by the tyranny of the blank page. I sit and stare at my legal pad, hoping that my thoughts will leap onto the paper and somehow form a coherent sentence. Second, I write with a fountain pen, so that strangers in the streets may see my ink-stained hands and wonder if I’m the second coming of Jane Austen. Third, I read and reread everything I’ve ever written and wonder how many brain cells I have left and if I could rub them together.

Harsh, I know. I published my last blog in April. If you look through my legal pad, you’ll see that I started four others, only to leave them incomplete. Writing is not easy. I don’t know how people do it so consistently and how so many others can write things with meaning - things that last. I'm envious of writers.

You don’t have to dig far to find the subject of my last published blog. I wrote it on the death of my grandfather. It’s been months, and I thought I was starting to leave it in the past. If I'm going to be honest, sometimes I let myself forget. Except, I can’t write anything new. I can’t think of anything worthy of note. Nothing really compares to the feelings I had for him and the honest experience of immortalizing him through my own words.

I used to reread my old blogs. I used to think that I wrote for myself, and that I liked what I wrote. Which begs the unfortunate question, do I like myself right now? Is that why I don’t like what I’m writing? Or is it just grief? Did a part of me die with the only person who loved me unconditionally? Will I ever be able to write about something else?

If you’re reading this, I know there might be some cause for concern. Odds are, I’m the only person that will ever read this. I figured that I had tried everything else, so why not write a stream of consciousness blog and see what spills out? There’s not a fountain pen in sight! It’s just me, typing directly into the webpage, not even checking for errors.

Take that, writing process!